4 Films Where the Last 60 Seconds is Better Than The Entire Rest of the Film.

First of all this isn’t a list of the greatest film endings of all time. I could never narrow that down, it would be like .... 100 movies. That's a lot of movies, I'm a busy man. 

(Don't forget to insert a GIF of the "ain't nobody got time for that Lady" here!)

These are movies that had endings that happen to be the absolute best part of the film. And I'm not talking about the entire end, I’m talking the last 60 seconds of the film here. It’s like eating a snow cone that's 95% ice where all the flavor sunk to the bottom and as you finish it off it’s like WOW why didn’t the whole thing taste like that!

Now these aren’t necessarily bad films but they weren’t great. But their final shots probably bumped them up an entire level. These are four films of mixed quality, which had absolutely brilliant moments in their final shots.

And of course since were talking about the endings of movies, SPOILERS BELOW!!

1. Indiana Jones and the Crystal Skull

I’ve had so many mixed feelings about this film. It isn’t a terrible film, I can’t even say that it’s really a bad film. It’s just that the Indiana Jones trilogy (yes I still consider it a trilogy) is perfect the way it is.

No added effects here

 The movies are modern classics, and the 4^th movie kinda falls short of that. I know, I know,  all of the Indiana Jones films had silly shit in them, but the movies were so good and so much fun that you don’t really notice. 

How does a man on a horse beat a tank? Oh he's just a bad ass... Okay, checks out with me.

When the 4^th one does silly stuff it comes off as ....

Yeah....

In this movie a now very old Indiana Jones is called back into another adventure when his long lost son tells him that his ex-girlfriend and old friend are in danger and have been taken hostage. What follows is a pretty much standard adventure flick that works best when it references the original movies.

The Brilliance

So the brilliance comes in at the end of the movie during the wedding. I should explain that before this movie came out, everyone was talking about Indiana Jones’s son taking on the mantle and becoming the new hero and getting his own trilogy. Most people just talked about how there’s no way Shia Labeowulf can carry a trilogy of action films. In the last moments of the film the famed Fedora was blown by a seemingly ethereal wind toward Shia Labooof. It seems like he’s about to put it on when

NOPE !!!!    Harrison Ford comes in and goes, sorry kid there’s only one Indiana Mother Fucking Jones and that’s me. It may be the weakest of the Indiana Jones movies but that ending made me cheer.

 

Good to know there will only be one!

Halloween H20

I love the original Halloween. I'd even argue that it may be greatest slasher film of all time. Of course the sequels grew kinda weaker and weaker over time. But H20 was a cool attempt at bringing it back to it’s roots. Unfortunately the movie really wasn’t super well done. The scenes with Michael Myers were good but outside of that, it probably set a record for the most fake jump scares ever.

"Sorry I didn't mean to make you jump." Well no shit. Normal people don't jump every time they bump into someone. It may seem like I'm giving this movie a hard time about the fake jump scares, but Michael Myers doesn't start killing people till the end. The first hour of this movie is just people bumping into each other and freaking out. What tragedy did everyone in this universe suffer that made everyone so fucking jumpy. Here’s an even better question; why does everyone sneak up on each other instead of calling out to their friends.

Anyways this movie is about a now grown up Laurie Strode who is still haunted by the events of the first film. As far as she knows Michael has been dead or gone for 20 years now but she still lives in fear.  And this Halloween on the 20 year anniversary Michael Myers finally resurfaces. And after he finds out where his sister is living, he heads off to finish what he started all those years ago. 

The Brilliance

Fast forward to the end of the movie, where Laurie decides it’s time she faced her big brother and end things once and for all. The final shot has her face to face with her big bro who does something we’ve never seen before from Michael Myers, he asks for mercy. And for a moment Laurie almost does. But then she looks in those eyes. As Loomis had said in the original movie "those dead eyes, the devils eyes."

Yeah!!! She chops his fucking head off. Now THAT is a definitive ending to that series. I love that Laurie has finally decided that she won't be a victim any more and she's tired of Michael's shit. I really like to pretend that it ended there before they totally fucked that ending over by doing another sequel. But never mind that, as far as I’m concerned the Saga of Michael Myers ended right there when Laurie decided she would no longer be a  victim and ended him once and for all.

Shutter Island

Shutter Island is not a bad movie by any stretch. It's actually a really good, very polished film. You can’t argue that Martin Scorsese is one of the most consistently great directors who’s been working for nearly 40 fucking years. And don’t get me wrong ,I enjoyed Shutter Island, it was an incredibly well made movie. My main problem was that I guessed the big surprise ending when I watched the trailer.

I know I told you, but again spoilers.

When I first saw the trailer for this movie I guessed, ya know he’s probably not even a real detective and he’s just another patient in the asylum. So the entire movie I kinda watched DiCaprio slowly discovering something that I had figured out months ago when I saw the trailer.

All the clues throughout the movie just confirmed my suspicions, the whole time I'm hoping something happens that I didn't expect.

Jesus Christ! A good story isn't enough for you people, I've got to surprise you too!?!?!

The Brilliance 
Well in the last 30 seconds or so I got my wish.

Leonardo DiCaprio’s character hints that he isn’t crazy at all and that he wants the lobotomy just because it’s too painful to remember what happened to him.

It’s a twist within another twist!

 It’s such a brilliant last line and Ruffalo reacts to it so realistically. All in all, the ending of the ending is what really stands out about the film.

I Spit On Your Grave (remake)

I have mixed feelings about the whole rape revenge exploitation movie genre. Rape is just one of those things that pushes my buttons in film and I really have a hard time watching it. Some things are just so tragic they aren’t fun to have in a campy revenge film.

Maaaan I want to love Django Unchained so bad, but after watching 12 Years a Slave, I don’t know how I feel about using slavery as a plot device.

The movie is arguably done much smarter that the original. A young woman rents a house in the woods so she can focus on writing. While she’s out there some local hillbillies find out she’s alone and gang rape her nearly to death and leave her for dead after accidentally dropping her body into a river.

The rape scene is so hard to watch but it actually makes the scenes where she tortures the bastards kinda enjoyable

Several months later she comes back for some sweet sweet REVENGA!

She kills them off in more and more horrible ways. Each time they beg for mercy or says no, please, or stop. She very simply reminds them that she also begged them to stop and said no and please. There’s something very chilling about her deadpan delivery of the lines. At no point does she seem to be enjoying killing these guys, she’s just doing it. And you’re pretty much enjoying it because they all totally deserve it.

The Brilliance

In the final shot of the film she stets up a nasty trap that places a shotgun squarely in the main antagonists ass and a hair trigger about to go off. After the final trap goes off she just sits there. Staring into nothing. It doesn’t show her triumphant at getting revenge or make it seem like she’s going to move on with her life or anything.

It’s very clear from that shot that a big part of her died that day they gang raped her. She’s undeniably broken and it shows. There’s no relief and no sign that she even cares that it’s over. It’s a depressing and dark ending to the story, as it should be.

Well that was .... dark. In hindsight I really should have ended the blog with something more upbeat. Well .....



Sorry.

Hey just so you aren't depressed here is an adorable video of a puppies trying to howl.

Oh and if cute isn't your thing then here is a video that never fails to make me laugh...

Bed Bug Removal Success Story

This guys sucks!!!

I live in southern California, and more and more I hear stories about bed bugs. Personally I never really paid much attention until I noticed little bites that came in threes on my girlfriend and myself. I have no idea where they came from but It was soon clear that I had them. 

Not my actual girlfriend

 I did lots of research and didn’t like what I saw. Anyone who’s struggling with them right now should remember two things. One they are difficult to get rid of but NOT impossible. And two there are much worse infestations to have, like roaches.

Just be glad you don't have an infestation of cave spiders in your house!

These guys are a HUGE pain in the ass to get rid of. They multiply like crazy, and they get into tiny tight spaces where they are hard to find. Plus, unlike fleas and mosquitoes their bites don’t hurt so you don’t notice when you’re being bitten. You generally won’t notice it until all you have is a red bump on your arm. Most people just talk about how nothing they do seems to work and there are very few success stories. So I thought it would be good to go over how I got rid of the little buggers.

First of all stuff that didn’t work....

 

Bug Bombs – The first thing I tried. These DO NOT WORK. Once I set one off and just hours later, I saw a bug crawl out right where I set the bomb. (4 months bug free my ass)

Spraying my mattress with bug spray – I know, I know, this is dangerous and unhealthy but I was frustrated and desperate. Needless to say unless you plan on putting down a fresh coat of poison every time you lie down(HUGE FIRE HAZZARD DON'T DO THAT), this isn’t going to work.

Getting rid of a single piece of furniture – I thought that they were all in this old chair. And don’t get me wrong, many of them were. But the bugs spread out, into the carpet and nearby objects. Don’t think throwing out some item will rid you of the problem.

Steps to get rid of them:

1.  Reduce clutter in your house.

This isn't actually my house... but you get the idea.

These guys like to hide anywhere they can. They crawl specifically into tight spaces making it hard to find them to remove ‘em. I don’t know about you, but being a bachelor who lives alone, I had a fair amount of clutter in my house. If anything good came out of all of this, aside from learning that my girlfriend has saint like patience and is willing to stick it out with me through anything, it was being forced to get rid of stuff I don’t need and to clean up. I got rid of old stuff just taking up space. And the rest I put into plastic sealable containers like you’d find at Target or another superstore.

And they aren't too expensive either

 This gave them a lot fewer places to hide. Also move your bed away from any walls. These guys can climb and I’ve heard that they drop on things from the celling. Personally I’ve never seen them do that, but I’ve heard it online.

2. Create a separation between yourself and places they may live.

   * Always check the corners of the mattress casing. They love to hide in tiny cracks and crevasses. 

    * These guys love to hide in pillows as well as mattresses. 

  * Be sure you have a plastic cover under the cloth one. 

You have to get mattress and couch covers. Mattress covers are pricey around 50 bucks. But they are worth it. Cover the mattress and box spring if you have one. Then buy covers for the pillows and your couch, sofa, love seat, any place where people sit. I got a nice plastic cover for my couch and love seat, then got a nice fabric cover to go over that. Don’t get me wrong, it’s annoying but it’s much better than having your guests get bitten. While you have the mattress off, check the frame for any signs of them and either spray 'em or vacuum them right up. 

3. Sticky tape or flypaper on furniture legs

As it turns out these little jerks can climb. Put sticky two sided tape on the legs of your sofa and your bed. It doesn’t look .... great. But it’s a good way to keep them from climbing up the from in the carpet and onto your bed.

4. Wash everything

You’ll need to wash all of your stuff that they can live in. Clothing, covers, and sheets. Since your pillows and couch are in a plastic sheet, I’m sure that you have pillow cases and a fabric sheet on the sofa. That all needs to be washed too. I know this is harsh on good clothing but you’ve got to wash it on hot to kill any of them and cook any eggs. Then dry it on hot for at least 30 minutes. That should keep the little punks nice and dead. It’s important to wash every single week. They can always crawl back onto the bed from the carpet and its good practice to keep the sheets constantly washed to keep them out. While you're doing the washing check the mattress for any signs of them and vacuum anything you see. 

  5. Vacuum every day

I don’t know about you, but as a bachelor who lives alone, I vacuumed .... mostly when I knew I was going to have company over soon. If you are serious about getting rid of these guys then you’ve got to vacuum every day. Especially when you take off the covers and sheets to do laundry. Keep everything nice and clean always.

And be ever vigilant, there were times I thought they were gone and then one would pop back up. 

Hear that Bed Bugs, I'm coming to get you!

Since taking these steps I saw them less and less and now not at all (Knock on wood). It’s been almost ten months and neither my girlfriend nor I have seen a single bite or even found one of the little guys dead in the laundry.

Do I know that they’re all 100% gone?   Nope.     That’s why I’m leaving on the covers and I still wash everything every week. I really don’t want to take any chances. But with so much hopelessness out there, I thought I’d spread the word that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Getting rid of these guys is hard but NOT impossible. Just stick with it and soon you’re troubles will be over.

And whenever you get frustrated or feel down on yourself. Remember .... 

it could be worse....

Thanks for reading, and Good Luck!!!!!