First of all this isn’t a list of the greatest film endings
of all time. I could never narrow that down, it would be like .... 100 movies. That's a lot of movies, I'm a busy man.
(Don't forget to insert a GIF of the "ain't nobody got time for that Lady" here!)
(Don't forget to insert a GIF of the "ain't nobody got time for that Lady" here!)
These are movies that had endings that happen to be the
absolute best part of the film. And I'm not talking about the entire end, I’m talking the last 60
seconds of the film here. It’s like eating a snow cone that's 95% ice where all the flavor
sunk to the bottom and as you finish it off it’s like WOW why didn’t the whole
thing taste like that!
Now these aren’t necessarily bad films but they weren’t
great. But their final shots probably bumped them up an entire level. These are
four films of mixed quality, which had absolutely brilliant moments in their
final shots.
And of course since were talking about the endings of
movies, SPOILERS BELOW!!
1. Indiana Jones and the
Crystal Skull
I’ve had so many mixed feelings about this film. It isn’t a
terrible film, I can’t even say that it’s really a bad film. It’s just that the
Indiana Jones trilogy (yes I still consider it a trilogy) is perfect the way it
is.
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| No added effects here |
The movies are modern classics, and the 4th movie kinda falls
short of that. I know, I know, all of the Indiana Jones films had silly shit in them, but
the movies were so good and so much fun that you don’t really notice.
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| How does a man on a horse beat a tank? Oh he's just a bad ass... Okay, checks out with me. |
When the
4th one does silly stuff it comes off as ....
Yeah....
In this movie a now very old Indiana Jones is called back
into another adventure when his long lost son tells him that his ex-girlfriend
and old friend are in danger and have been taken hostage. What follows is a
pretty much standard adventure flick that works best when it references the
original movies.
The Brilliance
So the brilliance comes in at the end of the movie during
the wedding. I should explain that before this movie came out, everyone was talking about
Indiana Jones’s son taking on the mantle and becoming the new hero and
getting his own trilogy. Most people just talked about how there’s no way Shia
Labeowulf can carry a trilogy of action films. In the last moments of the film
the famed Fedora was blown by a seemingly ethereal wind toward Shia Labooof. It
seems like he’s about to put it on when
NOPE !!!! Harrison Ford comes in and goes, sorry kid there’s only
one Indiana Mother Fucking Jones and that’s me. It may be the weakest of the
Indiana Jones movies but that ending made me cheer.
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| Good to know there will only be one! |
Halloween H20
I love the original Halloween. I'd even argue that it may be greatest slasher film of all time. Of course the sequels grew kinda weaker and weaker
over time. But H20 was a cool attempt at bringing it back to it’s roots.
Unfortunately the movie really wasn’t super well done. The scenes with Michael
Myers were good but outside of that, it probably set a record for the most
fake jump scares ever.
"Sorry I didn't mean to make you jump." Well no shit. Normal people don't jump every time they bump into someone. It may seem like I'm giving this movie a hard time about the fake jump scares, but Michael Myers doesn't start killing people till the end. The first hour of this movie is just people bumping into each other and freaking out. What
tragedy did everyone in this universe suffer that made everyone so fucking jumpy. Here’s an even better question; why does everyone sneak up on each other instead of calling out to their
friends.
Anyways this movie is about a now grown up Laurie Strode who is still haunted by the events of the first film. As far as she knows Michael has been dead or gone for 20 years now but she still lives in fear. And this Halloween on the 20 year anniversary Michael Myers finally resurfaces. And after he finds out where his sister is living, he heads off to finish what he started all those years ago.
The Brilliance
Fast forward to the end of the movie, where Laurie decides it’s time
she faced her big brother and end things once and for all. The final shot has
her face to face with her big bro who does something we’ve never seen before
from Michael Myers, he asks for mercy. And for a moment Laurie almost does. But
then she looks in those eyes. As Loomis had said in the original movie "those
dead eyes, the devils eyes."
Yeah!!! She chops his fucking head off. Now THAT is a
definitive ending to that series. I love that Laurie has finally decided that she won't be a victim any more and she's tired of Michael's shit. I really like to pretend that it ended there
before they totally fucked that ending over by doing another sequel. But
never mind that, as far as I’m concerned the Saga of Michael Myers ended right
there when Laurie decided she would no longer be a victim and ended him once and for all.
Shutter Island
Shutter Island is not a bad movie by any stretch. It's actually a really good, very polished film. You can’t
argue that Martin Scorsese is one of the most consistently great directors
who’s been working for nearly 40 fucking years. And don’t get me wrong ,I
enjoyed Shutter Island, it was an incredibly well made movie. My main problem
was that I guessed the big surprise ending when I watched the trailer.
I know I told you, but again spoilers.
When I first saw the trailer for this movie I guessed, ya
know he’s probably not even a real detective and he’s just another patient in
the asylum. So the entire movie I kinda watched DiCaprio slowly discovering something that I had figured out months ago when I saw the trailer.
All the clues throughout the movie just confirmed my suspicions, the whole time I'm hoping something happens that I didn't expect.
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| Jesus Christ! A good story isn't enough for you people, I've got to surprise you too!?!?! |
The Brilliance
Well in the last 30 seconds or so I got my wish.
Leonardo DiCaprio’s character hints that he isn’t crazy at
all and that he wants the lobotomy just because it’s too painful to remember
what happened to him.
It’s a twist within another twist!
It’s such a brilliant
last line and Ruffalo reacts to it so realistically. All in all, the ending of the ending is what really stands out about the film.
I Spit On Your Grave (remake)
I have mixed feelings about the whole rape revenge exploitation movie genre. Rape is just one of those things that pushes my
buttons in film and I really have a hard time watching it. Some things are just
so tragic they aren’t fun to have in a campy revenge film.
The movie is arguably done much smarter that the original. A
young woman rents a house in the woods so she can focus on writing. While she’s
out there some local hillbillies find out she’s alone and gang rape her nearly to death and
leave her for dead after accidentally dropping her body into a river.
Several months later she comes back for some sweet sweet REVENGA!
She kills them off in more and more horrible ways. Each time they beg for mercy or says no, please, or stop. She very simply reminds them that she also begged them to stop and said no and please. There’s something very chilling about her deadpan delivery of the lines. At no point does she seem to be enjoying killing these guys, she’s just doing it. And you’re pretty much enjoying it because they all totally deserve it.
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| The rape scene is so hard to watch but it actually makes the scenes where she tortures the bastards kinda enjoyable |
Several months later she comes back for some sweet sweet REVENGA!
She kills them off in more and more horrible ways. Each time they beg for mercy or says no, please, or stop. She very simply reminds them that she also begged them to stop and said no and please. There’s something very chilling about her deadpan delivery of the lines. At no point does she seem to be enjoying killing these guys, she’s just doing it. And you’re pretty much enjoying it because they all totally deserve it.
The Brilliance
In the final shot of the film she stets up a nasty trap that
places a shotgun squarely in the main antagonists ass and a hair trigger about
to go off. After the final trap goes off she just sits there. Staring into
nothing. It doesn’t show her triumphant at getting revenge or make it seem like
she’s going to move on with her life or anything.
It’s very clear from that shot that a big part of her died that day they gang raped her. She’s undeniably broken and it shows. There’s no relief and no sign that she even cares that it’s over. It’s a depressing and dark ending to the story, as it should be.
It’s very clear from that shot that a big part of her died that day they gang raped her. She’s undeniably broken and it shows. There’s no relief and no sign that she even cares that it’s over. It’s a depressing and dark ending to the story, as it should be.
Well that was .... dark. In hindsight I really should have ended the blog with something more upbeat. Well .....
Sorry.
Hey just so you aren't depressed here is an adorable video of a puppies trying to howl.
